Roger Kearney, 56, appeared in court yesterday accused of stabbing to death the 40-year-old and leaving her body in the boot of her car.
Magistrates heard how both he and Paula had worked as stewards at Southampton Football Club and were having an affair for several months.
Prosecutors say they were looking at renting a property and moving in with each other.
Kearney, of Painswick Close, Sarisbury Green, was arrested after Paula's body was found in her Peugeot 206 near to Swanwick train station in October last year.
He was due to answer bail today but police arrested him at 6.30am on Monday morning.
They eventually charged him with murder.
Kearney spoke only to confirm his name, age and address when he appeared at Southampton Magistrates' Court yesterday.
Watching the proceedings in the court room was his long-term partner Carol Goddard, and his children.
Kearney, a post office worker for 34 years, was refused bail and was remanded in custody.
He will next appear at Winchester Crown Court on July 7. The murder charge comes after teams of divers searched a lake in Burridge – close to where Paula's body was found.
Paula's husband Ricky, who was himself cleared as a suspect in March, today spoke about the charge.
The 53-year-old, of Course Park Crescent, Titchfield, said: 'The police have been brilliant.
'They have kept me informed of the development.
'Hopefully this is the beginning of the end. We can pay our respects to Paula and get on with our lives. We're are still in shock about it really.
'I still have nightmares about it. We have good days and bad days but I've just got to try and get on with it.
'Hopefully this will be a step in the right direction.'
Paula's mother, Jenny Cross, 66, of Spring Road, Sarisbury Green, also said they had 'nothing but praise for the police'.
Roger Kearney's family and friends outside court yesterday
Eight months after Paula Poolton's body was found in the boot of her car, the high profile case, which has even featured on the BBC's Crimewatch, finally came to court yesterday, writes reporter Rachel Hine.
All eyes were on the man police have now charged with her murder, Roger Kearney, as he entered the court room. Dressed in a checked shirt and dark trousers, the 56-year-old spoke only to confirm his name, age and address.
He then sat for the rest of the hearing, next to a male officer in the dock.
As the prosecution and defence gave their arguments for and against bail, Kearney could often be seen looking at the floor.
While on other occasions he would glance at his long-term partner Carol Goddard, and his children, who were sat at the back of the court room.
Magistrates retired for 10 minutes to decide whether Kearney could be released on bail until his next hearing.
On returning the chair of the bench, Colin Wyatt, confirmed they would be remanding him in custody.
Kearney waved to his family before being taken away.
PAULA POOLTON TIMELINEPaula went missing on October 17, 2008. She was last spotted by CCTV shopping at around 9.30pm at Tesco in Bursledon.
Her body was eventually found in the boot of her car in Duncan Road, near Swanwick train station, 11 days later by police on a routine patrol.
She had suffered seven stab wounds.
During the murder investigation police have attempted to trace commuters caught on CCTV at Swanwick on the evening of her murder.
They have also carried out a search of a lake in Burridge in a bid to find her missing flip flop, car keys and mobile phone.
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