His imperial highness R Hind on weighty issues...

Not Portsmouth after all, but Kiel, Germany, shortly before the First World War.

Zeppelin led us up the harbour path... to northern Germany

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Have you noticed how all the cookery programmes on television always give their recipes in metric?

No doubt there are many viewers like me who have no idea about this strange weighing and measuring system.

It won’t surprise you to know that I am an imperial man and intend to remain so. I have not a clue about grams or millilitres and have no intention of learning.

I still use age-old cookery books to make my Christmas chutney and mincemeat and I wonder how anyone over 40 copes with the metric system.

Would it harm the presenters to say ‘a quarter of this or a half pint of that’?

Which brings me nicely on to modern keyboards. They do not have a half or quarter keys. To write a half requires three keys ie 1/2 or 0.5.

It seems to be one step forward and three back or am I just a technophobe? All right, all right you at the back. I heard that...

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