I just don’t possess the patience of a gardener

Not just for vampires. Garlic paste will keep cats at bay too.

BRIAN KIDD: Readers’ questions and jobs for this weekend

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One of the key requirements of being a good gardener is having a shed full of patience. Unfortunately, I do not have this. I don’t even have a shed.

When the seed packet says ‘sow in April’ I will push my luck and start them off in mid-March.

And when all the books tell me that I should plant my leeks out ‘when they are the thickness of a pencil’ I get bored waiting and dump them in their bed when they are the thickness of string.

Despite this, though, at this time of year I do have an unfeasibly large amount of optimism. So what if the leeks look skinny and a little floppy?

I’m sure that the warm weather and recent downpours will harden them off and get them into the mood for at least aspiring to be pencil-thick.

Not everything is doing well. I had transplanted some herb seedlings into larger pots and unfortunately the parsley and coriander have objected to this.

My window sills now abound with pots of earth with pathetic, dried up and, well, what you would probably call dead, plants

So this weekend I will be cutting my losses, adding them to the compost heap and starting again with some new seeds.

Pumpkins and squash are next on my agenda, although I will have to admit that I am planning to buy some pea and sweetcorn seedlings from elsewhere following a disappointing attempt here at home.

I admit it, I just don’t have the patience to grow them myself.