Disaster Movie (12A) *
Don't waste good money on this aptly titled film.
When you've hit rock bottom and the last glimmer of hope has disappeared, the only way is up, isn't it?
Apparently not, as is demonstrated in this aptly-titled film.
This movie is disjointed, unimaginative and interminably dull.
A pot pourri of dross that includes lacklustre dance numbers in a High School Musical style, running gags that are limp from the initial set-up and a sabre-toothed Amy Winehouse (Nicole Parker) warning one hapless co-star, 'You don't want to mess with a bitch straight outta rehab!'
Questionable look-alikes of Justin Timberlake, Flavor Flav and Dr Phil pass by without fanfare while the plot hobbles from Cloverfield to Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull via Night At The Museum, Hancock and Sex And The City.
Will (Matt Lanter) breaks-up with his girlfriend Amy (Vanessa Minnillo) shortly before an asteroid shower decimates the city.
Hannah Montana (Christa Flanagan) is crushed by one giant polystyrene rock, though sadly the rest of the characters escape unscathed.
Determined to get to the museum where Amy works to check she is safe and well (before the exhibits come to life), Will teams up with wise-cracking friend Calvin (Gary 'G Thang' Johnson), sardonic teen Juno (Flanagan again) and an Enchanted Princess (Parker again) to save the day.
Meanwhile, the world as we know it teeters on the brink of annihilation.
'Earthquakes, asteroids, return of the Spice Girls, apocalypse,' predicts one cardboard cut-out protagonist gloomily.
Any of those options sounds preferable to another minute of this piffle.
Email to a friend
Print this page
Looking for...
Featured advertisers
Jobs
Search for a job
Motors
Search for a car
Property
Search for a house
Weather for Portsmouth
Saturday 11 February 2012
Today
Sunny
Temperature: -4 C to 3 C
Wind Speed: 8 mph
Wind direction: North east
Tomorrow
Cloudy
Temperature: 3 C to 4 C
Wind Speed: 12 mph
Wind direction: North
