Grosvenor Casino, Gunwharf Quays, Portsmouth
An email pops up suggesting I eat in a casino, the Grosvenor, in Gunwharf Quays.
Apparently 'many people don't realise that you are welcome to come into our casino for a good meal' says the blurb.
How true. A gambling joint's emphasis is decidedly on gamblers buying chips and pulling slot machines or dicing with vingt et un rather than dining.
But that potential jackpot food gauntlet was thrown down so in I go.
First I phone to check on the menu: 'Is the restaurant menu available all day?' I ask. The bar menu doesn't excite with all its carbs, the restaurant one more interesting. 'Yes,' came the reply. 'And we're open 24 hours a day.'
I bowl into the casino and am assured again that the menu runs alongside the bar one. But first, would-be diners, even if they're not throwing their money away (sorry, down) have an identity check, their picture taken and their mobile and email address noted.
It's a noisy barn of a place – the jingle-jangle of coins spewing out of machines named Fort Knox and Pharaoh's Fortune alongside muzak and TV screens. It looks like a hotel lounge with raised-one-level horseshoe bar and open plan restaurant.
There's no sign of any staff at first then one ambles over to the bar with an 'uarrwright?' from a distance. 'Could I have a look at the menu, the restaurant one?' He gives me a blank look. 'We only do that evenings' and points to a copy of the bar one at a remote table. There's a remarkable lack of communication going on here between all floors, telephone staff and kitchen, although a later website check reveals that the bar menu is the only offering before 7pm.
I look at the bar dish list: nachos; burgers; bought-in curries I am told; fish and chips and steak and chips and, well, chips with everything in true gambling style. The restaurant menu offers smoked salmon; game pate; soup; chilli chicken wings; olives; roast duck in a plum sauce; butternut squash risotto; salmon en croute; belly of pork and five different steaks.
I settle for beer-battered cod and chips and mushy peas and a glass of Pinot Grigio for just over 10, mains from 7 to 13.50.
The batter is very good, the fish solidly overcooked, the chips frozen, the mushy peas microwave-hot, the tartare sauce possibly for dual purpose: paint and tongue stripper. I sit in the noisy gloom and watch players play the tables, elderly women playing the slot machines. I feel dispirited by the atmosphere, the food, the desperation by some to succeed.
The receptionist had handed me a free token worth 10 to play on the roulette table but there were no winners, just losers, diners included.
Carol is a chef, former restaurateur and editor of Savour, the Guild of Food Writers magazine
Grosvenor Casino, Gunwharf Quays, Portsmouth; (023) 9273 2277.
Open: 24 hours a day.
Food: **
Service: **
Atmosphere: **
Disabled access: Lift to the first floor where the action/restaurant is.
How to get there: Follow the brown signs to Gunwharf Quays and park in the car park. The casino on the first pedestrian road off the main square.
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Saturday 04 February 2012
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