Inn on the Beach, Hayling
The Inn on the Beach is a former lifeboat station, which has recently re-opened after being bought by restaurateurs Carole Mackie and Ian Murray.
It's now operating as a family-friendly pub, but it's a tricky building to make work thanks to its impersonal, awkward layout.
The couple hope to attract people on to Hayling as well as catering for locals, but it's a tall order as that long winding road from the A27 is a natural defence barrier.
The unprepossessing entrance doesn't give out a positive welcome. You pass an area with stacked up tables behind a wall, teeter on a small path strewn with stones or walk on a stony drive to find the way in.
There are more pub tables by the entrance with no softening plants or colour and an abandoned half-full pint glass by the door didn't help either. It was still there when I left.
You negotiate a downstairs bar before making your way upstairs to the main bar overlooking the sea.
The dcor is quite smart thanks to a wooden ceiling and boating artefacts. A characterless conservatory is decorated with a white cloth intertwined around beams to try to help it along a tad.
None of the rooms feel welcoming or comfortable, even though the furniture bill must have been huge.
And what about the food? Well, jackets and baguettes do not require any cooking skills. Nor do the starters – deep-fried whitebait and coconut king prawns among the options. The 12 pizzas just need to be removed from their packaging and re-heated, as do whole tail scampi and battered cod.
Other mains include a ploughman's, a chicken or Nicoise salad and steaks. Billed as 21-day matured (28 is far better) Hampshire or Dorset beef, choose from a rump, sirloin or fillet (19.95). Sauces or savoury butters are, cheekily, an extra 1.
It's one of those 'order at the bar' impersonal places. The staff are friendly but not exactly on the ball; chatting rather than serving the norm.
I order the cod and chips (8.95) and sit in the conservatory, customers mainly pint drinkers with a smattering of eaters.
Sadly, this is a far cry from what the British coastline should be offering its visitors and locals. The fish is dull and chewy, the batter deep-fried in unpleasant fat, the chips frozen. The salad, I suspect, is shaken out of a packet with a drizzle of cheap vinaigrette. The Sauvignon blanc is cheap, poor wine.
'Are the desserts made here?' I ask. A nod of the head. Some bright spark thought that if they placed a fork on the plate, shook cocoa powder on it, then removed the fork to leave a pattern it would detract from the taste of the brownie. My bill came to just under 18 for a dispiriting interlude, every penny begrudged.
The owners plan to open a fish restaurant on the premises. Let's hope skill and quality are the benchmarks the current offerings and atmosphere distinctly lacking.
Inn on the Beach, 97 Seafront,
Hayling Island
(023) 9246 0043
Open: Mon-Sat: 11am–11pm (12pm–3pm, 5.30pm–9pm for food). Sun: 11am–10.30pm (12–6pm for food)
Food: **
Service: ***
Atmosphere: **
Disabled access: stairs to main part of the inn may deter some
How to get there: from Portsmouth exit at Havant, follow signs for Hayling Island and take main road, Havant Road which becomes Manor then Beach Road to seafront. Take the second exit on roundabout, pass amusement park, signs for inn on the left towards the sea. Car park
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Weather for Portsmouth
Wednesday 23 May 2012
Today
Sunny
Temperature: 15 C to 24 C
Wind Speed: 15 mph
Wind direction: North west
Tomorrow
Sunny spells
Temperature: 15 C to 23 C
Wind Speed: 9 mph
Wind direction: North east

