A TEENAGER raped when she was just 15 has spoken out after being told that her attacker is to come out of jail.
The girl has suffered mental health difficulties and battled with drug and alcohol abuse and isolation since the rape.
Despite fighting to get her life back, she has been dealt a setback after her mother got a letter warning that Charlie White is to be released in June.
Speaking for the first time ahead of Sexual Abuse and Sexual Violence Awareness Week, which starts today, the victim told The News: ‘Since this has happened I’m not me.
‘I see a big shadow in front of me and it’s him.
There’s not any day I don’t think about it.
‘I’m really scared for him to come out. I don’t know how I’m going to react when I’m going to see him.
‘It’s all right saying “put your head up high” but it’s easy to say.’
The girl, who cannot be identified for legal reasons, was raped by White nine weeks after he had left custody for a sex assault on a 13-year-old girl.
He was jailed for five years for the rape in 2015, but will have served half that when he is released from prison.
A serious case review by Multi Agency Public Protection Arrangements (MAPPA) found that he was not monitored.
The review found the teenager’s internet use was not monitored, MAPPA did not meet when he was released from jail and a manager did not attend a meeting.
The victim added: ‘I see him – I don’t see me.
‘I still feel like a rape-damaged girl.
‘That’s all I see, I don’t see anything else, I don’t actually see me.
‘Even if anyone compliments me, I can’t say thank you.
‘Even if someone smiles at me, I think everyone is staring at me.
‘I always feel dirty – I have three baths a day.’
Despite the ordeal of the court case, the Portsmouth teenager has urged anyone who is a victim of sex crimes to summon up the courage to speak out to the police.
‘No matter how hard it is, think about all those people you’re saving – don’t think about yourself,’ she said.
‘Don’t be a victim, be a survivor.
‘That’s what I want to be, it’s just really hard to see I’m a survivor.
‘I wouldn’t want anyone else thinking they’re a victim because I don’t think that’s a nice word. I’ve got a long way to go though.’
Everything in her life has changed since she was raped, including losing all her friends.
She has ended up suffering from drug and alcohol abuse.
She told The News: ‘I sleep for 14 hours a night.
‘That’s the only time that my head’s at peace.
‘Even then while I sleep I have really bad dreams with flashbacks.
‘I wake up sweating where I’ve been screaming and my mum has to calm me down.’
When she is awake, the teenager spends time thinking about whether or not White is remorseful.
White, who was 18 when he was jailed in July, 2015, had met the victim on Facebook, arranged to see her, then raped her when they met.
At Portsmouth Crown Court he was banned from contacting girls under 16.
The victim’s mother, who battles to support her daughter through her ‘bad days’, is hopeful White will be excluded from Portsmouth when he is released in the summer.
She said: ‘I feel really angry.
‘Yes, he’s been in prison for two-and-a-half years but that’s not enough.
‘She’s going to live with this for the rest of her life. She does have bad days.’
Hampshire police declined to comment on individual cases, but said that offenders considered at ‘greatest risk to the public’ are monitored and managed by officers from MAPPA.
Probation, the prison service, housing associations and local authorities are all involved.
Detective Chief Inspector Paul Gelman said: ‘Hampshire Constabulary has a dedicated multi-agency public protection team.
‘This takes a dynamic and proactive approach to managing offenders and identifying breaches of notification conditions.’