Our agony aunt tries to solve more readers’ problems
QUESTION: I knew that when I started seeing my boyfriends three years ago, but he told me his existing marriage was all but over.
Six months ago, he left his wife and moved in with me, but within four weeks, he had left me to return to her.
He has stayed in contact with me and keeps telling me he loves me, how awful his marriage is and that he wants to move back, but should I trust him this time?
He really hurt me when he left; I came back to an empty flat to find he had packed his bags and gone while I was at work.
I love him, but I’m so confused that I just don’t know what to do.
FIONA SAYS: If his marriage is so dreadful, why is he still with his wife, and why did he sneak out on you?
There seems to be little about this man that deserves commitment from you, or inspires confidence.
He has done nothing but hurt or confuse you, and frankly, I think you’ll only get more of the same if you continue to see him.
I am sorry to sound negative, but I suspect there is no real future in this relationship. Make the break now and look for love with someone who is free to return your commitment.
QUESTION: My next-door neighbour recently lost her baby son, who was just six months old.
Naturally, she is absolutely devastated and as she’s a single parent and appears to have little or no family to call on for sympathy and support, I’d like to help.
I’m in my seventies and unable to get out and about much, but I wish there was more I could do.
Are there any organisations she could turn to for support as they would be more helpful than I can be?
FIONA SAYS: You may not be able to get out and about, but don’t underestimate the power of listening.
I’m sure your neighbour appreciates your sympathy and support already, even if she’s not able to express this clearly.
It will help her to have people to talk to who have been through this, so I’d suggest she contacts the Child Death Helpline (childdeathhelpline.org.uk) on 0800 282 986.
Run by volunteers, all of whom are bereaved parents, it gives callers the opportunity to talk freely about their feelings.
Finally, do let your neighbour know that you’d like to help in any way you can - she’s fortunate to have you around.