I would say we've earned our stripes
When an envelope marked 'Confidential' arrived for Kim Richardson, she assumed it was something connected with work in a routine sort of way. And indeed it was connected with work – but not in a routine way.
'I had to read the letter several times and was just saying "Oh my word, oh my word", and I handed it to my husband and asked if he read it the same way I did.'
The letter was inviting Kim, 48, to become an Officer of the Order of the British Empire (OBE) in the Queen's birthday honours.
It was in recognition of her work in setting up and running the Naval Families Federation, and she talks about the OBE being for the whole NFF team rather than for her.
Told she is in danger of sounding like an Oscar winner, she laughs: 'Don't worry – I'm not going to do a Kate Winslet!'
But she does re-emphasise that NFF is a team effort – 'and what a smashing team they are'.
Team? She might say 'family', because families are what got her where she is and what concern her – her own and those of navy personnel.
It seems apt that this warm, motherly figure keeps two teddy bears in her office – one named Jack in navy clothing, one called Royal in marines gear.
Her family are all from Portsmouth. Her grandparents were navy but her father joined the Royal Air Force from Fleetlands and went to Hong Kong, where Kim was born.
Her grandmother lived in North End Grove, Portsmouth, a mere stone's lob from the NFF offices in Castaway House. 'It used to be a treat to visit her,' Kim recalls fondly, 'so this is a bit like coming home.'
Her husband was in the navy until three years ago and she met him in Plymouth while training to be a nurse.
For a long time after having her children she did any job that fitted around them, but after the family moved to the Portsmouth area she became agony aunt and matron at Cams Hill School, Fareham.
Then in 2003 NFF was born. The Army Families Federation had been in place for 25 years and the RAF also had representation, but the navy had nothing and questions were being asked in government.
Kim says: 'It took about two years to come up with a solution that would allow us to be independent but funded by the second sea lord.
'We are administered by a very old naval charity – the Royal Sailors' Rest, the old Aggie Weston's. They are our facilitators.'
Asked what she brings to the job, Kim says: 'Bucket-loads of common sense, and my personal experience as a service wife and daughter. I also have one brother in the army and one in the RAF, so I have quite a good tri-service background.'
She says the biggest challenge is communicating with 'our families' because most settle into their own homes, integrate into communities and get on with their everyday lives – 'and data protection makes it difficult for us to contact them directly'.
Concerns range from maintenance problems in service families' accommodation to the need for accessible and affordable childcare, and from struggling to get children into school to finding dentistry – all problems compounded by the mobility factor.
'We have also had contact recently with other countries because British Forces Post Offices are closing 12 offices and people want someone to register their concern. We're ideally placed to do that.'
What gives NFF impact is its direct access to the top.
'We can escalate a query as high as we need to go,' Kim says.
'The ace card is the under-secretary for defence, Kevan Jones. I meet him at least twice a year and can access his office at any time. He's quite a straight-talking guy, which is good, and shows interest.
'Also within the navy I have direct access to the second sea lord and the commandant-general of the Royal Marines. If we can't resolve issues by going up through the chain of command I can have direct dialogue with either or both of them.
'But we have had to earn that. I would say we've earned our stripes.'
Sometimes, she says, it is necessary to remind the services that life is not always straightforward for families left behind, and that military personnel are likely to be more focused and effective if the family are content and feel valued.
Some argue that service people expect too much molly-coddling: they know the deal when they sign up.
But Kim says society's expectations generally have risen substantially – 'and we have to ensure we are not disadvantaged compared with the rest of the population.
'I don't think service people want special treatment. They just want to make sure they aren't penalised because of the job they do.'
For more information about the Naval Families Federation visit nff.org.uk
Kim's husband, Mike, was a logistics officer in the navy and became fleet caterer. He now works for the Compass direct catering group as business development leader, government services.
The couple live at Hill Head. Daughter Kate, 24, is marketing manager for an IT company in Winchester, and son Ben, 20, is studying environmental science at Plymouth University.
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