A cheese wedding cake and Jedi Knights for best men

Steve's baby daughter made amazing progress this week, or so his wife thought

STEVE CANAVAN: It was a lot of rattle over just a little roll

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Two of my friends did it in a field last week. Got married, that is. It was billed as a woodland wedding and all the guests were offered the option of coming in fancy dress. Boy that’s hard. Wit hout a theme and with a family of five to deliver in suitable style to the woods, the pressure was on.

It was a humanist celebration and quite lovely for it. Very relaxed, no singing of hymns with impossible-to-reach high notes and full of sunshine, straw bales, yurts and a pig or two (some living, one roasted – awfully close to his siblings I might add).

My two daughters embraced the concept of fancy dress, but strongly rebelled against my imposed theme of woodland creatures (what’s not attractive about coming as a bumble bee?). Instead they decided that pirates were the way forward.

My son opted for a morph-suit, one of those all-in-one-including-head Lycra-ish affairs, and went as a Ribena berry (though that’s my interpretation, not his).

I merely added massive wings to a dress and went as someone with wings (yellow would have made me a bee, but it’s not my best colour), while my husband, donning a pair of shorts, went as an office worker on a day out.

It’s not that often that I go to weddings where the cake is made of cheese, or where the guests play Countdown in a marquee for two hours.

Or indeed where tug-of-war while wearing bridesmaids’ dresses is the enforced activity by an over-hyped maid-of-honour, microphone stuck to her mouth, dressed like a 1970s athlete from those 118 ads.

When the bride and groom arrived, they stood and laughed at the guests for a good three minutes before turning to their two Jedi Knight best men and getting on with it.

It’s not often that I think a wedding has truly rivalled my own for enjoyment, but this one did.

I’ve never been to a wedding outside of a church or register office before, so I faced this one with trepidation.

But I shouldn’t have worried because no-one noticed me sitting in the shade and happily participating through my camera lens rather than using my legs. Good job I didn’t wear yellow...