Two of my friends did it in a field last week. Got married, that is. It was billed as a woodland wedding and all the guests were offered the option of coming in fancy dress. Boy that’s hard. Wit hout a theme and with a family of five to deliver in suitable style to the woods, the pressure was on.
It was a humanist celebration and quite lovely for it. Very relaxed, no singing of hymns with impossible-to-reach high notes and full of sunshine, straw bales, yurts and a pig or two (some living, one roasted – awfully close to his siblings I might add).
My two daughters embraced the concept of fancy dress, but strongly rebelled against my imposed theme of woodland creatures (what’s not attractive about coming as a bumble bee?). Instead they decided that pirates were the way forward.
My son opted for a morph-suit, one of those all-in-one-including-head Lycra-ish affairs, and went as a Ribena berry (though that’s my interpretation, not his).
I merely added massive wings to a dress and went as someone with wings (yellow would have made me a bee, but it’s not my best colour), while my husband, donning a pair of shorts, went as an office worker on a day out.
It’s not that often that I go to weddings where the cake is made of cheese, or where the guests play Countdown in a marquee for two hours.
Or indeed where tug-of-war while wearing bridesmaids’ dresses is the enforced activity by an over-hyped maid-of-honour, microphone stuck to her mouth, dressed like a 1970s athlete from those 118 ads.
When the bride and groom arrived, they stood and laughed at the guests for a good three minutes before turning to their two Jedi Knight best men and getting on with it.
It’s not often that I think a wedding has truly rivalled my own for enjoyment, but this one did.
I’ve never been to a wedding outside of a church or register office before, so I faced this one with trepidation.
But I shouldn’t have worried because no-one noticed me sitting in the shade and happily participating through my camera lens rather than using my legs. Good job I didn’t wear yellow...