A man to make you happy? They only exist in fairytales

Ashley says Prince Charming doesn't exist in real life
Ashley says Prince Charming doesn't exist in real life
Mel Gibson as Kurt Mayron, Mark Wahlberg as Dusty Mayron, Will Ferrell as Brad Taggart and John Lithgow as Don Taggart in Daddy's Home 2. Picture: PA Photo/Paramount Pictures/Claire Fogler.

CHERYL GIBBS: Not a great film, but I still balled my eyes out

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I came across a rather bizarre article recently about things that make a woman happy.

They included, in no particular order, fresh flowers, an ottoman, casseroles, a mason jar, red wine, a clear complexion, a jug of iced lemonade, a terranium and a man.

Everybody thinks all girls dream about is to find the perfect guy. But every girl’s dream is really to be able to eat what they like without getting fat.

I have been pondering items on this rather eclectic list. Now fresh flowers I would most certainly agree with, especially if they are scented and given to you by someone special.

An aromatic, tasty casserole simmering on a stove on a cold winter’s day would also make me happy (but a roast dinner with Yorkshires and stuffing would make me happier!)

Red wine is a definite no-no for me as it gives me headaches and sickness, but I do enjoy a nice chilled glass of vintage Champagne.

Mason jars? Well, I had to look that one up and apparently it’s a wide-mouthed jam jar thingy that you use to preserve fruit or vegetables.

Nope, that doesn’t bring a smile to my face and I’m not the slightest bit enthused by an ottoman. But a plush velvet chaise-longue with fluffy cushions and positioned in front of a bay window? Now you’re talking.

A clear complexion? Yep, no girl wants to be a spotty dotty. Us ladies want to look our best at all times.

As for a man, I don’t believe a man can ever make a woman happy. I’ve not met one yet who has made me full of the joys of spring.

I’m afraid Prince Charming only exists in fairytales or in pantomimes, not real life.

Everybody thinks all girls dream about is to find the perfect guy. But every girl’s dream is really to be able to eat what they like without getting fat.

One thing that did shock me about this list was that chocolate was omitted. Surely it should have been top. Whoever compiled it doesn’t seem to have a clue about the things that truly make a woman happy.

What would make me content right now would be driving to the beach on a sunny day, a pretty garden, galloping across a deserted beach on a fine stallion and fish and chips in newspaper on a park bench with my best friend.

SO WILL DOCTOR MCDREAMY BE DELIVERING BRIDGET’S BABY?

I’ts over a decade since the last Bridget Jones movie and I’m feeling rather giddy with excitement that accident-prone Bridget and her big knickers will be returning to cinema screens this summer in Bridget Jones’s Baby.

Sadly the dashing Hugh Grant isn’t in this one, but we do have the gorgeous Colin Firth and his pert bum, not to mention Hollywood hunk Patrick Dempsey (aka the sex god last seen as Doctor McDreamy in Grey’s Anatomy).

I wonder whether he will be whipping out his white coat and putting that medical knowledge to good use by delivering Bridget’s sprog?

I really hope this time that Bridget gets her man as well as her baby.

Because I do like a happy ending!

THANK YOU TINA FOR YOUR SMILE - AND SUGGESTING FIZZY FISHES

Every Sunday morning at 6am, come rain or shine, I jump out of my cosy pit, get into my car and head down to Pages of Wickham to get my Daily Mail and some sugary treats from the old-fashioned sweet jars.

I could, dear readers, just go out of my garden gate and pop to the shop next door.

But I prefer to continue this weekly ritual because I love the trip to the village newsagents.

That’s mainly because of the lovely, bubbly assistant who works behind the counter.

Tina’s always cheery with a smile on her face, a joke to share and advice on what sweets are the best.

So thank you lovely lady, for brightening my Sundays and for recommending the fizzy fishes. You were absolutely right – they’re delicious.