A more basic remote control 
would surely be on the button

BLAISE TAPP: Generation X’s retirement plans are heading for stormy waters

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Why can’t they design a TV remote that doesn’t have any spare buttons on it that you never seem to use?

All you need is your on/off/standby button, the number buttons for your channels and the plus and minus buttons so you can flick through the channels trying to find something worth watching.

Oh and your red button, of course. Obviously if you have a digi-box, X-Box or Wii, then you will need all your buttons, but surely no- one bothers altering their brightness and contrast any more, do they?

There are other buttons on there that you’re always too scared to press, like ones marked ‘STTL’ or anything with ‘option’ or ‘return’ written underneath it.

I just think we need TV remotes without all the extraneous buttons on them.

Though of course that would mean they’d be smaller and even easier to lose.

My mate has an interesting theory about how you can tell if you’re obese or not.

He reckons you’re obese if you need two clothes pegs to satisfactorily hang your pants or knickers on the washing line.

If you’re not obese you will only need one clothes peg to do this.

So, are you a two peg pants person?

Why is it that no matter how long a jar of mayonnaise has been in your fridge, you think it’s going to be okay?

Same goes for salad cream. What is it about the creamy salad-related condiments that make us trust them so?

We don’t trust normal cream after it’s been in the fridge for more than a couple of days, do we? I say let’s start being a bit more suspicious about them.

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