A tidy house is a thing of the past

Portsmouth delivers yet again with the GSR

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When I was a young lad, I wasn’t the tidiest person in the world.

Imagine in your mind a stereotypical teenager’s bedroom. That’s what my room looked like.

An unmade bed with the duvet crumpled up in one corner revealing the bed sheet that only covered half of the mattress, smelly trainers obviously kicked off my feet as soon as I entered the room as they were about five feet apart and mugs that once contained a steaming hot cup of tea – but had since been covered in a layer of mould.

The thing I feel most guilty about is that when my mum would give me a pile of my freshly-ironed clothes, instead of instantly hanging them up I’d just disrespectfully dump them in the corner of my room.

My room was tidy sometimes. Mostly when I had girlfriends round as I didn’t want them to think I lived in a cluttered dirty mess, but soon after, standards would once again slip.

I’m happy to report that now – years on – my standards of cleanliness have increased considerably.

Sadly, I can’t take the credit for this myself.

I live with my very own version of television’s Kim and Aggie/Monica from Friends all rolled into one – my other half Serena.

I read an article recently that revealed that one in three women secretly love to clean.

Serena is definitely one of those women. But she’s not so secret about it though.

Not a day goes by without hearing the clunking and whirring sound of the vacuum cleaner or the waft of some sort of cleaning spray heading up my nose.

Thing is, now that I’ve got so used to living in a clean and spotlessly tidy house, I can’t stand to be around mess or untidiness.

But living with two children under three means it’s just not possible to have tidiness all day long.

As I sit here typing these words in our living room, there’s a mess right in front of my eyes.

I’m looking at the skin from the banana just consumed by Caitlin that she’s left on the shelf, shredded paper from a colouring book scattered all over the floor, plus crayons that have been stood on and have shattered into many pieces.

I suppose it’s to be expected with two young children but I have to admit that I’m aching to get it all tidied up and restore the room to how it used to look.

But if I do, I know that within the hour it will be messy again.

After finally being converted from someone who doesn’t mind a bit of mess into someone who loves everything to be clean and tidy, I now have to accept that young children and a tidy house just don’t go together.