Acting like a beauty is attractive

Hambledon rose is just one of the wines at Hambledon Wine Festival

ALISTAIR GIBSON: Enjoy the ‘Glastonbury of wine festivals’ in Hambledon

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What a kerfuffle recently over Samantha Brick’s article stating how women hate her because she’s so beautiful.

Thousands commented online, many saying that blonde and statuesque 5ft 11in Ms Brick wasn’t that stunning.

Over the years I’ve met many average-looking women who think they’re beauties. And because of that, they act beautiful. That’s very attractive to fellas and immensely irritating to the sisterhood.

One predatory woman who’d clamp her pelvis against blokes dancing Salsa looked young in the dark, but competed with a rhinoceros’s wrinkly backside in the light. The sisterhood nicknamed her ‘clockwork crotch’.

When fiftysomething females preen in front of me asking ‘bet you can’t guess my age’, I mischievously answer ‘not sure, 60? 65?’.

Miaow.