Always be aware as I don’t think I’ll be the only victim

COMMENT: Sell alcohol to kids and you will face consequences

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Until recently, the only thing I had in common with Alfred Hitchcock were the same initials and a love of scary movies.

Little did I think that one day I’d be involved in what I can only describe as something resembling a sequel to his film The Birds.

But that was what happened as I strolled along Southsea Common on a summer’s afternoon.

I was out and about promoting upcoming shows for the Kings Theatre when I spotted a pal.

We had a brief chat before walking in the direction of Palmerston Road. Suddenly out of nowhere I felt something smack me on the back of my head.

Lost in my thoughts and just assuming it was a fallen branch or something like that, I carried on walking.

Then something hit me again, only this time with considerable force.

Glancing up, I saw a menacing black crow was hovering above me. Then it swooped down again, nearly knocking me to the ground.

I put my hand up to my head to protect myself from further harm as splashes of blood ran down my face.

Rushing away in fright, I managed to get myself to Boots, where they advised me to go to St Mary’s Hospital or the walk-in centre in Guildhall Walk.

I chose the latter and the doctor there was quite astonished at my story. Luckily I only needed cleaning up and a tetanus jab.

Later that evening I returned to work where my plight caused much mirth and merriment amongst my colleagues.

I’d like to take this opportunity to thank Katrina for examining my bonce for peck marks and giggling at the indent in my head and Sandra for saying that the devil bird most likely wanted my hair for its nest. Cheers girls!

On a serious note, it could have been a child or elderly person who was attacked and injured. And what if it had gone for an eye?

There’ve been several other attacks of late in the London area and I’m told that it could be the crows are just protecting their young.

So be aware of what’s around you when you’re out and about. Because somehow I don’t think I’ll be the last victim.