Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you really wish you’d given some thought to your appearance before you left the house?
You know, the time when you think ‘I’ll just quickly pop out to the corner shop’ and you have your onesie and Ugg boots on, hoping no-one will notice you?
No? Just me then? I’d like to state at this point that the onesie is usually hidden by an overcoat, but I admit that I often go outside in my PJs.
Yes, I’m one of those women you judge when you drive by.
To be quite honest, I’m okay with that. I have nothing to hide. I bathe twice a day and my hygiene standards are pretty good.
But what I do have a problem with is going out looking like something that would be cast in a Tim Burton film and then bumping into someone I went to school with. How the heck do you get out of such a predicament?
This happened to me this week when I decided I’d ‘nip into town’ to retrieve an un-posted item from the post office.
Now the ridiculous queue outside the post office, which curved all the way round to Matalan, should have been a big enough deterrent for me to not even get out of my car.
But you see, I really wanted the parcel as it contained my new Batman-style dress (Cheryl Cole wore one, so it must be good).
So there I am, freshly (or not so freshly) departed from the gym wearing…get this…gym trousers with a grey vest top over baggy letterbox red jumper, a pair of Converse (at least I had the decency to swap my gym trainers for Converse) and my partner Matt’s over-sized black hoody coat.
My hair was pulled back into a ponytail, the fringe was clipped back, I had no make-up on and a runny nose, thanks to my awful cold.
And then I bump into someone I went to school with and she literally double-takes when she realises that it’s me.
What do I do? I look down and pretend to be on my phone. Oh, the shame of it.
My reason for being so ignorant was that she may, just may, think that it couldn’t possibly be me. But now she knows the truth!