An ill-fitting wig that delivers sporadic jolts? No thank you

European workers including nurses, social workers and teaching assistants protest outside the Houses of Parliament in London before lobbying MPs over their right to remain in the UK.  Picture: Stefan Rousseau/PA Wire

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What do you buy the man who has everything…except hair? The SmartWig, dumbo.

This new device sits on top of one’s bonce with cutting edge technology woven into the strands.

Via satellite and other new-fangled processes, you can communicate, navigate and play – it’s a wearable computing device that works by sending small shocks to the wearer to help direct him/her to a destination.

The device could also be used during presentations – by raising one’s eyebrow, you can advance to the next slide.

Clearly, if there’s one thing that’s going to make a lost bald man look cool, it’ll be an ill-fitting wig delivering sporadic electric jolts to his scalp.