And the winner is...

Smurf's up at Doncaster for Pompey fans
Smurf's up at Doncaster for Pompey fans
Steve's baby daughter made amazing progress this week, or so his wife thought

STEVE CANAVAN: It was a lot of rattle over just a little roll

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It has been the worst Pompey campaign for a generation and the club continues to fight to remain in existence.

Still, let’s not forget the achievements and failures of those on and off the pitch over the season.

Spot the difference between Mark Mudie and Zippy

Spot the difference between Mark Mudie and Zippy

It is only fitting we pay tribute on the final day of the Championship campaign.

And look back at some of the more notable moments.

The audience looks like a Pompey creditors’ meeting, with plenty of well-known faces who the club cannot shake off ready to step up and receive their trophies.

So ladies and gentlemen, let us begin.

The ‘thanks but you really shouldn’t have. No I mean it, you really shouldn’t have’ award

In Roman Dubov’s own words: ‘We came up with the match day program for the iPad, which allows the fans to purchase the program right in their home.

‘We introduced the bank card with Portsmouth’s logo as well.

‘These little things helped to improve the club’. So come on, own up, who said CSI were all bad?

Chant of the season

Pompey fans at Reading – Let’s pretend we’ve scored a goal.

One of a number of memorable songs from the visiting fans in that game.

The ‘wait a minute, haven’t we met somewhere before’ award

Sixth year running – Pini Zahavi.

Agent for Tal Ben Haim, agent for Avram Grant, an associate of Sacha Gaydamak, an associate of Peter Storrie, involved in the sale of Sulley Muntari to Inter Milan, etc, etc.

The marmite award for services to quotes

Bob Beech – I’d rather have the Luftwaffe back in Portsmouth than Balram Chainrai.

Best away fancy dress

The dozen conga-ing Elvis’ at Blackpool ensures it was a tight contest but the Smurfs at Doncaster just edge it.

The real clincher was managing to get Michael Appleton to wear a Papa Smurf hat after the match.

The ‘I bet you wish you never said that Award

Vladimir Antonov who on September 19 said ‘Our main goal is to give supporters confidence that we are stable owners and that we have the passion and money to support the club’s long-term vision’.

The Brian McDermott award for best Mark Mudie lookalike

Zippy from Rainbow.

A chance meeting at the Pompey training ground brought the pair of blabber mouths together.

Zippy was delighted, well he seemed to be but couldn’t get a word in edgeways.

The Parma Violet Award for looks good but leaves a bitter taste in your mouth

Convers Sports Initiatives, who incidentally did make a line of sweets containing their name, left.

Best Tweeter

It has to be Balram Chainrai (@BalramChanrai) – or rather his spoof account.

Often mistaken for the real thing, he has received threats and invites to dinner. Very amusing and very popular.

Worst Gaffer For The Day

The gentleman who thought being The News’ Gaffer for the Day entitled him to a free ticket to the game and the opportunity to sit next to Michael Appleton on the bench.

His name shall be withheld out of fear of further embarrassment.

The ‘it wasn’t me, it was someone else’s fault’ award

Shared jointly by David Lampitt, Vladimir Antonov and Roman Dubov.

Memorial to Pompey friends we have lost this season

Len Phillips, Tony Goodall, Jim Riordan, Norman Uprichard, Nick Dixon, Brian Bromley, Cliff Portwood, Charlie Dore, Terry Ryder, Ken Woodford.

Quietest home fans

Peterborough by an absolute mile. The only time they made any noise whatsoever was during a half-time penalty shoot-out.

The Papa Bouba Diop services to shooting award

Ricardo Rocha.

No wonder he has never scored for Pompey when, against Southampton, he attempted to kick a ball against the advertising hoardings only to smack a home fan in the face.

The EastEnders most dramatic exit award

Tal Ben Haim. Refused to join his team-mates for the lap of appreciation, allegedly snubbed signing autographs to youngsters.

His departure is as eagerly anticipated as Nick Cotton’s or James Willmott-Brown’s.