I thought I was turning into a domestic goddess. I thought I was growing up and becoming my mother, developing an appreciation of the fresh air and beauty of the countryside.
But I was wrong. Because I can’t even tell a tulip from a daffodil. Oh dear. In last week’s column I said how excited I was by the tulips that had been planted around Bedhampton by the Bedhampton Volunteers. I spoke of my joy in seeing them in full bloom.
But it appears I made a fundamental error that confirms I really am nowhere near being the knowledgable ‘mini me’ of my ma. Because those tulips were, in fact, daffodils. I’ve been told several times this week, so don’t make it any worse by mentioning it if you see me.
Moving on, it was mine and my fiance’s 11th anniversary recently and for the first time ever we both forgot. I was genuinely rather upset. Not because I was mad at him – I too had forgotten – but I was a little concerned that we had clearly let life get in the way of remembering the one day a year when we should actually celebrate being a couple.
During the days that followed once we’d realised, the lack of acknowledgement of our anniversary got me more and more annoyed.
‘Surely he’ll get me a card?’ I thought. I had bought him one, although admittedly there was no present. I’m probably the most unmaterialistic person you’ll ever come across and am really not into big gestures and expensive presents (although if you’d like to buy me a pair of Jimmy Choos, I won’t complain).
But if he had made a card, then it would have been something! A little cheap, but still a gesture. Yet there was nothing.
So I made the common mistake of having one too many at the weekend and, how shall I put this, procceeded to let him know about my feelings. He said nothing.
‘At least explain yourself boy’ I thought. But no, nothing, Which, as all the ladies will understand, wound me up even more.
I woke up the next morning to find a big box being delivered. I opened it up and a big helium balloon popped out from among an assortment of beautiful, heartfelt gifts and gestures.
I think the expression is ‘egg on your face?’