Aurora has been trying her best to mutilate the tree

Will Ferrell in Elf
Will Ferrell in Elf
Jabba the Hutts palace on the inhospitable Tatooine

RICK JACKSON: Orange skies, pungent pongs and trumpets from heaven – what a world!

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There’s not much I don’t love about the festive season.

My tree has been up since mid-November (actually it’s been more down than up thanks to my mischievous moggie Aurora, but you know what I mean).

I’ve had my black and silver Debenhams tree for a few years now and my naughty cat just loves it.

It’s quite a stunner with silver mirrors adorning the branches.

They have tiny ball bearings on the ends and it’s these which the little minx is fascinated by.

She bites the branches until they fall off, then picks up the balls in her mouth and brings them to me and expects me to be grateful for the gift.

Despite her trying to mutilate the tree, it still looks good – although I’ve been sorely tempted to buy an evergreen one this year.

I can’t resist a trip down to the garden centre to mooch amongst the Christmas trees and tinsel-decorated sheds.

That scent of fresh pine takes me right back.

I must admit I’ve had a few odd looks as I’ve walked up and down smelling all the varieties of trees.

There are a few other aspects of this time of year that I really enjoy.

One is snuggling up on the sofa on a cold winter’s day, watching festive movies such as Elf and The Holiday with a glass of Baileys or a hot chocolate with lashings of whipped cream and marshmallows and a mega-size bag of Monster Munch.

Listening to cheesy Christmas songs and having your own Carpool Karaoke-style singalong is also fun with friends.

And lastly, eating pigs-in-blankets. Whoever created these scrumdiddlyumptious, mouthwatering delights ought to be knighted.

On the serious side of the holidays, it’s important to remember that not everyone is looking forward to Christmas.

Some people are not surrounded by large, wonderful families and can suffer with sadness and loneliness when they remember lost loved ones.

Remember that reaching out to someone can make a big difference.

Merry Christmas to all of you.

WHY DO WE GET OBSESSED WITH MEN WHO WON’T TEXT US BACK?

This year I’ve learned numerous lessons.

For instance, I’ve learned that sometimes things don’t always go the way you planned, or in the way you think they should or want them to.

I’ve also learned that there are things that go wrong that can’t always be mended. Sometimes what gets broken has to stay broken.

Plus I’ve come to realise that you can get through the bad times and keep looking for better ones as long as you have family and friends around you that really love you.

The biggest discovery I have made, though, is that there are many millions of men on this planet, yet for some reason women seem to be obsessed with the one idiot that just won’t text them back.

I MIGHT BE ON SANTA’S NAUGHTY LIST - BUT I’LL BE GOOD IN 2017

This is my last column before Christmas and new year, so I would like to take this opportunity to wish you all a very merry crimbo.

I hope Santa (yes, some of us still believe) brings you all lots of festive goodies in your stockings.

I have to admit I might be on Santa’s naughty list this year thanks to various misdemeanours that I don’t propose to go into here, but I hereby promise to be a little bit better-behaved throughout 2017.

What’s on my Christmas list, I hear you ask?

Well, I’d quite like to wake up on Christmas morning to snow and with a 6ft hunk with his own hair and teeth at the end of my bed.

Both highly unlikely, I’m afraid. Well, a girl can wish can’t she?