Coleen and Wayne can’t say that they’ve ‘done’ Glasto

LAWRENCE MURPHY: A worthy alternative to roasties?

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I always thought that suffering was part and parcel of the festival experience. That surviving the queues for the Portaloos, sleeping in a smelly tent, not washing and getting covered in mud were like a badge of honour.

Yet it seems that Coleen and Wayne Rooney don’t agree. A private helicopter ferried them from their Cheshire home to Glastonbury, where they had hired a massive Winnebago complete with leather sofas, televisions, a shower and kitchen.

A security service then took them half-a-mile from their luxury quarters to the festival at Worthy Farm – with Coleen in £350 custom-made wellies with leopard-print lining.

But the thousands who slept in waterlogged fields are the only ones who can truly say they’ve ‘done’ Glasto.