Concept of the marketplace in stores is a bit far-fetched

COMMENT: Sell alcohol to kids and you will face consequences

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Is anyone else as annoyed as me at Morrisons’ latest TV advertising campaign? The one where Ant and Dec wander down an outside market street before buying two items, a large bunch of flowers and a piece of beef.

They walk along enjoying banter with various traders – and all with the insinuation that this is what Morrisons offers.

I do quite like Morrisons, that’s true. But the whole concept of the marketplace in its stores is a bit far-fetched.

The in-store idea of a market starts with a high stack of vegetables with some fine mist being blown over them for the wet look.

Then there are some food bins where you help yourself to food and veg. Fair enough, instead of buying pre-packaged goods in endless plastic you can pick up your own, sans bag.

The bins are followed by more shelving with ‘three for a reduced price’ items on them, plus a butcher counter, a fish counter and a cheese section.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure the people who work in Morrisons are quite delightful. But I’ve never heard one of them call out in that inimitable way of a market trader which lets you know, without a doubt, that you will get a magnificent bargain on peppered loins or a pound of bananas.

Nor have I ever been called darlin’ or winked at by any Morrisons staff.

You can’t sit outside and people-watch while enjoying coffee and there are no tantalising smells of hot dogs or burgers wafting by – or any handsome Mediterranean types offering you a taste of their olives.

The advert also talks about freshness of goods, cauliflowers being delivered straight to store – with the implication (in my mind) of local.

But look at the flowers that one of the duo buys. Methinks they’re not local.

And while I’m at it, it’s not clear what is included in the ‘all that and change for a tenner’ line. Flowers and beef? Or just beef?

Aaargh. Why do I care so much anyway? Let’s face it, we’re being delivered a bit of a corporate myth.

What can we do? Well, in Gosport on a Tuesday and Saturday we can say ‘no’ to such drivel, walk outside and experience the real market deal.