Remember when you were younger and used to go out clubbing? My friends and I would dress ourselves up to the neon nines and head out ready to meet the men of our dreams.
But there was always a group of older women who we would stand and watch as they flailed unashamedly around the dancefloor. Then we’d snigger about ‘grabbing a granny’.
Well, now I am that granny (figuratively, not literally).
After a recent Saturday night out in Portsmouth, I was left with the distinct impression that the younger female generation were looking at my gang as if to say: ‘oh please you saddos, stay away from our territory.’
But let me tell you something, you with that pert body and the impossibly straight hair who was sniggering as the 40-somethings got into their groove.
We weren’t after those little boys whose eyes you could chip out with your dagger-like mascara.
You can so recognise a woman on the dancefloor who is not on the pull. The obvious sign to look for is the hitching up of the tights when everything drops after a few complex moves.
This is not what a woman looking to attract a mate does. If on the pull, she would do it discreetly.
Similarly with the adjusting of bra straps. Us older versions are not pushing up our boobs to get a boy’s attention, we’re stopping them from tripping us up.
At 2am some people might cheer because the DJ’s been great, or it’s the last chance to get attention and someone in your arms.
Women not on the pull cheer because they have hung on to the grim end and it is now – finally – bedtime.
I admit I was one of those snide girls once. I used to look at the older ladies and wonder how on earth they had the gall to wear short skirts, high heels and low-cut tops.
Well now I know. They weren’t there trying to steal my pimply teenage prey who, quite frankly, were often as dull as ditchwater (but good-looking nevertheless).
No, they were there just having a good time. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.