Deep joy: our council tax bills will arrive every nine hours

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Great news this week. As we come closer to destroying this planet to beyond repair, scientists have stumbled across ‘the most similar planet to Earth ever discovered’.

The nattily named Kepler 78-b is the same size and has the same rocky composition as our rotating blob and it has the same density.

Now, if there’s one thing I look for in a potential new home, it’s density.

There are a few negatives though; it’s a tad warmer than Earth, approximately 2,000 degrees and a year on K78-b lasts just 8.5 hours... just think of the frequency of annual council tax bills.

As excited as the scientists may be, it might be worth continuing with the recycling here for a bit – to see if we can eek out just a few more years.

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