I flew to Austria last week and the glamour of air travel is officially dead.
My flight to Munich was only 90 minutes, yet I spent the same time again in queues through passport control, customs, security, baggage reclaim and the loos.
The new streamlined aircraft seats deliver the comfort of a cheap plastic patio chair on a waltzer.
The air stewardesses looked like melted candles and gave the impression they’d gladly punch you in the face if you even hinted you wanted a drink of water.
The in-house catering was a tortilla, wrapped around a thimble of wallpaper paste.
If you are flying away this summer, set your targets low – then you’ll only be marginally disappointed.