Festival events are a bit ‘beige’

The red squirrel is in decline across the UK   
Picture by Harry Hogg

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Asex for the over-60s workshop? Oooo goodie goodie, tips for us old fogeys about frolicking – I’m lovin’ it!

As part of Portsmouth City Council’s Festival For The Over-60s (October 3-14), on Wednesday October 12 from 11am-1pm in Room F at Norrish Central Library, Guildhall Square, there really is a workshop called Generation Sex.

It’s billed as a frank, fun and factual two-hour session designed to inform older Pompey people about the realities of sex in later years.

Titter ye not. I reckon it could be very entertaining. We should go along.

But it’s not just rumpy-pumpy. Within the festival there are free walks, talks, tours, plus sessions on patchwork and crochet and more.

As a new OAP myself, I find these events all a bit ‘beige’. There are a lot of golden guys and gals that are very modern in mind (and body). We’re not all a load of old frumpties, dear.

Patchwork and crochet! I don’t think so.

But it’s great that the council, with all the cutbacks, are giving us old codgers all these free events, which also include swimming, gym, computers and Japanese lessons.

But come on. Couldn’t you be a bit more creative? Us oldies love to dance, and we’re always up for a laugh.

What about jive, ballroom, Latin, salsa, even belly dancing lessons?

We could have Tai Chi, theatre and singing workshops, and a creative writing class.

A few years ago I was chatting to a golden gal at the bus stop. I was telling her I was collecting stories from ex-corset factory workers.

More the girle stuff, you know, what they got up to with the fellas.

With a twinkle in her eye, she said: ‘I didn’t work at a corset factory, but I did work at the hat factory in Stamshaw during the Second World War.

‘We made hats for servicemen, and before they went to packaging, us single girls would slip a note inside with our names and contact details.’

Eee, the little minxes.