Fish and chips, all the fun of the fair and the return of Fuzzybum

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RICK JACKSON: Orange skies, pungent pongs and trumpets from heaven – what a world!

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Ijust hate soggy bottoms’, I quipped with a mercurial twinkle at the young barman in The Bridge Tavern, Camber Docks last Saturday evening.

I was ordering two portions of fish and chips at the time, and was requesting my batter to be crispy all over, not soggy underneath.

Two cod and chips, you ask?

I suppose you want to know who the second fish supper was for.

Well my darlings, for those of you who’ve been giggling at my soap opera life, especially 2001-2003, get ready to gasp.

The Stud Muffin/Botch Up Baz/Fuzzybum – all the names of my ex-fella – turned up out of the blue on my doorstep last Wednesday.

I haven’t seen hide nor hair of him for more than four years, and there he was, a little older, a little wiser, but the same old Stud Muffin.

After a delightful dinner we decided to go to the funfair. Sorry I still call it that, and not Clarence Pier Fun Park.

It was only 9.45pm on a Saturday night in high summer season, but there was only a handful of punters around, and traders were starting to close up.

As we drove along Southsea seafront there was just the odd stroller and dog walker.

How different to when I was young in the 50s and 60s.

First of all, I was not allowed to go to the , then, Billy Manning’s Funfair on my own.

Oh no, not for a privately educated convent schoolgirl, mixing and getting up to mischief with the young boys.

Yes of course us girls would sneak down there.

We’d be on the waltzers and Dodgems making eyes at the boys.

Back then the funfair was double the size it is now, and so exciting, packed with people.

As was the seafront.

I know, we have to change with the times.

But honestly, Southsea is supposed to be a resort.You shouldn’t roll the seafront up at 10pm.

Attractions (night attractions ) – closed. Refreshments - closed. Toilets – closed. Except for the four free night toilets at Clarence Pier – long walk if you’re at Canoe Lake.

I dream of the seafront with evening entertainment, bustling with people.

Silly me.