Forget EU - save our pastries!

There are at least one million pigeons  that survive on the pastry crumbs that Greggs pasty eaters drop.

There are at least one million pigeons that survive on the pastry crumbs that Greggs pasty eaters drop.

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High Street chain Greggs is to close three of its 12 bakeries in the UK, including one in Scotland, because it’s switching its focus from being a traditional baker to selling more ‘food on the move’.

Excuse me…Greggs doing ‘food on the move’?

Don’t they realise what the Greggs customer base is? The only thing that Greggs shoppers move quickly is their jaw, usually when they’re eating pasties and steak bakes.

Plus has anyone thought about the terrible effect this decision will have on bird life in Britain? There are at least one million pigeons in the UK that survive on the pastry crumbs that Greggs pasty-eaters drop in their hurry to shove the food in their mouths as they leave the shops.

Forget the EU debate. We need the government to step in now and save our Greggs pastry products!

n My friend was saying that he went to park his car in a supermarket car park the other day and there were no spaces apart from the ‘Disabled’ and ‘Mother and Baby’ spaces. Now, my friend has a two-year-old boy, but he wasn’t with him in the car at the time because he was in the supermarket with his mum, having been walked there by a grandparent.

So, basically my mate was going to pick up his son from the supermarket and bring him home after doing some urgent shopping.

Obviously my mate had the baby seat in the back of his car, but no baby until he collected him. Because of this he drove around the car park for 10 minutes trying to debate whether he’d be able to park in the ‘Mother and Baby’ space if he didn’t actually have a baby with him at the time.

Does anyone know what the rule is? Also I’d be interested in knowing if you can park in a ‘Mother and Baby’ space without being a parent if you have a baby seat in the rear, or is that being too naughty?

I have a mate who’s just been down the bottom of the Grand Canyon in America. He awoke after camping there virtually alone on the floor of the vast chasm surrounding him. He felt a sudden urge to shout something profound as the sun rose. He felt completely at one with nature and was taken over by this kind of primeval feeling that being in this amazing place had given him. It was almost as if the Gods of the earth were there to hear the utterances from deep within his soul, and he was moved by a will to shout something incredibly profound to them. And, do you know what he shouted…? ‘Echo.’ Because everyone does - What a waste!

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