Forget robots, it’s cats who want to dominate the world

LAWRENCE MURPHY: A worthy alternative to roasties?

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Without wanting to sound like a geek, I admit I’m a fan of the sci-fi genre and thus am always interested in stories about the advancement of robot technology.

But one report that caught my attention this week really was ridiculous and too far-fetched to be believed.

The story in question was about a robot which apparently committed suicide because it had had enough of cleaning.

Apparently said robot turned itself on, pushed a pot out the way and walked on to a hot plate, setting itself on fire.

Now unless you’ve got a raging case of OCD or very little going on in your life, no-one really enjoys scrubbing a cooker or emptying the dishwasher.

Loading the washing machine and than hanging up the washing is also a real chore.

But the idea that a robot would seek to self-destruct because of a hatred of mind-numbing tasks is surely utter rubbish.

We go through more vacuum cleaners in our house than my wallet likes to remember.

This isn’t because they’ve had enough of life in the Smith house though.

It’s because the missus likes to drape the cable over ignited cooker hobs. The severing of leads between door and frame is also a real favourite.

But another reason for their demise is that chores are neglected and the poor vacuum overdoses on balls of hair.

No doubt we’ll soon see cars that drive themselves around town and buses that will take you on the number seven from Waterlooville to Commercial Road without any driver.

But the news of a robot killing itself is hardly going to have people fearing robot Armageddon, with Terminators travelling back in time and laser beams splitting the Spinnaker Tower in half.

Now I often think that computers deliberately do things to annoy me. I suspect a conspiracy when I’m writing and know that I definitely didn’t make the font change from Calibri to Ariel.

But robots have no idea of self. If you put red paint on one’s nose and it looked in the mirror, it wouldn’t try to wipe it off, same as a dog wouldn’t.

Cats though, I still think they’ve got designs on world domination.