Gangnam style of brushing teeth could end in bathroom shambles

Stephen Morgan MP

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Psy’s Gangnam Style has been identified as the best song for encouraging children to brush their teeth properly as it enables them to complete the correct number of strokes needed for a complete clean.

Using the same formula, other songs the scientists reckon are great for kids to brush their teeth to are Rihanna’s Diamonds, Gotye’s Somebody That I Used To Know, Olly Murs’ Troublemaker, Wiley’s Heatwave and Cheryl Cole’s Call My Name.

But I’m not sure they’ve thought this through. If you make a kid brush their teeth along to Gangnam Style they’re going to start doing the dance moves to it as well, and if they do that, the toothpaste is going to go absolutely everywhere.

None of it will be on their teeth. And if they’re doing the dance moves while brushing, the brush will be smashing into their gums and mouth and causing untold damage.

So a pub landlord from Cambridgeshire who’s trained in martial arts has fought off four attackers without dropping his fish and chips.

John Wood, who is 37, disabled two of the men by kicking them in the knees, and he fought off a third with one hand while holding his food in the other.

The fourth man stabbed him in the chest and ran away but Mr Wood’s okay, despite the injury.

But I can’t understand why he didn’t use the fish and chips as a weapon, as they can be quite dangerous.

For instance, if you throw a chip in someone’s face and it’s got vinegar in it, that’s acidic and can blind them momentarily.

And also some batter can have incredibly sharp bits on it, so by swinging the fish he could have cut one or two of his attackers.

It’s something worth remembering if you’re walking home with fish and chips and you don’t have martial arts training.

And finally here’s an interesting musical fight question. Who would win in a fight between Kid Rock, 70s stars Paper Lace and Scissor Sisters? Hard to know, isn’t it?

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