God would like me for a sunbeam

Steve's baby daughter made amazing progress this week, or so his wife thought

STEVE CANAVAN: It was a lot of rattle over just a little roll

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How can standing on one leg like an ostrich on absinthe, or reading Harry Potter books make me a daughter of the devil?

Well, according to Father Gabriel Amorth, the Vatican’s chief exorcist, both yoga and magic will lead us on a path of sin and Satan.

He also warns of the dangers of nightclubs, dens of iniquity, sex, drugs, and Satanic sects.

So it looks like my seat has been reserved by Hell’s furnace dear, as I did yoga for 30 years, love Harry Potter films and have worked in nightclubs.

Except I’m quite a good person and I think Mr God would like me for a sunbeam.

So Father Amorth, see ya in Heaven pal.

And if the Pope wants to put posteriors on pews in his churches, I have a suggestion.

He should ban his chief exorcist from waffling out of his.