How come wearing tights is okay, but shorts are a no-no?

COMMENT: Whenever she arrives, we’ll give her a big welcome

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My favourite moment of the past seven days was when a few friends and I were turned away from a well-known Portsmouth pub because we were ‘violators’ of dress-code regulations.

My pal was wearing shorts – smart tailored shorts, not cut-off denims a-la Andrew Ridgeley, circa 1983.

The irony of the situation is that I was dressed as Henry VIII in white tights, pantaloons, blouse and furs.

The doorman had no issue with my attire whatsoever, yet shorts were deemed a little crass.

So gents, if you’re stepping out this summer it’s worth carrying a pack of seamless 20 denier tights in your back pocket.

Could save your embarrassment...