I see the venomous false widow spider is making headlines again.
What I really don’t understand is why is it called a false widow?
What’s it been lying about? Did it marry an English spider, who then died, just so it could get English citizenship and proceed to take great lumps out of us?
How long is it going to be before the real widow spider turns up?
Spider expert Stuart Hines said there have been no reported deaths from false widows.
Well thanks Mr Hines, but I’m not really that comforted by such a statement.
I’d still rather not wake up to find a nasty spider gnawing at my knee and then two days later find my leg looks like it’s been dipped in sulphuric acid.