I love a night in watching a Belgian in leather trousers

The Great South Run

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I’ll happily admit it that I love Eurovision. Dodgy euro pop, Graham Norton’s sarcasm and sequins galore: what’s not to like?

But the funniest bit is how it divides the nation. Tonight I will be holding a Eurovision party complete with fancy dress, themed food and drinks and a sweepstake.

I get so stressed I end up shouting and waving my fist at the television at such blatant tactical voting

I have a friend who can’t come to my party because Eurovision is bigger than Christmas in her house and she has to be with her family!

On the other hand, Jez absolutely hates it. He’s spent the past few weeks moaning and whingeing about how we never win, but I bet he’ll still watch it!

But so what if we never win? When it comes to pop music we’re leagues ahead of the rest of Europe.

When was the last time you heard an artist from Latvia in the charts? Britain competing in Eurovision is like David Beckham taking part in a 5-a-side football match for under-10s.

Under normal circumstances the other countries wouldn’t even get a look-in. So let’s just let someone else have their five minutes of fame and have a great night sitting on the sofa cheering on a Belgian bloke in leather trousers and platforms.

Jez: Tonight the nation expects Electro Velvet to deliver us a Eurovision win.

It’s been 18 long years since Katrina And The Waves sang Love Shine A Light and won the 1997 contest.

As a little boy I can still remember Brotherhood Of Man singing Kisses For Me and winning in 1976. And of course who will ever forget Bucks Fizz’s Making Your Mind Up from 1981? The moment the girls’ skirts get ripped off is permanently etched into my memory.

These days my attitude has changed towards the contest. I find myself trying to avoid it for the sake of my health.

Problem is I get really irritated at all the tactical voting.

You know, the Eastern European nations will stick together and Greece and Cyprus will always look after one another.

I get so stressed I end up shouting and waving my fist at the television at such blatant tactical voting.

I reckon the UK could be represented by Take That and we would still come in the bottom half of the scoreboard!

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