I love the idea of the Queen preferring horses to people

Mo Farrah after missing out on a gold medal
				 Picture: Adam Davy

VERITY LUSH: Leave me to browse the make-up counter in peace

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According to the Daily Mash satirical website, the Queen will spend her retirement living in some stables as a horse.

It will involve standing still a lot and occasionally sticking her head over the door so that animal lovers can stroke her nose.

A footman will bring her a daily nosebag, but most of her social interaction will be with equines – the creatures she has always loved the most.

Obviously this is not true, but I love the idea of our monarch preferring the company of horses to people. I can relate to that.

With horses, there’s never any need for small talk – unlike with other monarchs, heads of state or royalists who stand at the front and wave little flags at royal visits.