I’m 46 and have no idea how the washing machine works

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Last week, in an attempt to save the planet, I took my household recycling to a new level.

Unusually for me I decided to relax and unwind by soaking in a nice hot bath.

Surely the logical thing would have been to wait until she got home, not sling his dirty clothes in even dirtier bath water

After about 20 minutes I got out and invited my eight-year-old daughter Erin to use my old water.

I’m a clean person and I didn’t see it was a big deal. After some initial protest, she eventually agreed and spent 10 minutes in the bath.

Once she was out I then decided to make further use of the water. So I emptied the dirty washing basket of all my clothes and washed them by hand in the bath.

This water recycling had the added bonus of meaning I could get my chinos clean without going anywhere near the washing machine.

At the age of 46 I still have no idea how to work it. The dials on the front completely confuse me.

Unfortunately the bath doesn’t have a spin option, so getting them dry was a bit of an issue.

But at least I wasn’t using my precious electricity!

Lou: I cannot believe that A: Jez still can’t use the washing machine and B: he thinks it’s okay to wash his clothes in twice-used bath water.

I have no problem with his daughter using the water after him. It’s a lot of water to be wasted on one person. But you can’t wash your clothes in dirty water!

He reckons he’s not that grubby, but that’s not the point. Everyone sweats, everyone sheds skin cells and everyone picks up dirt and grime in their everyday life.

Plus he’s got a perfectly good washing machine in working order downstairs.

Yes they can be a little fiddly to work out the first time, but once you’ve figured out what you’re doing you should be well away.

Why his wife has never shown him how to work it is beyond me.

And anyway she was only out for a couple of hours. Surely the logical thing would have been to wait until she got home, not sling his dirty clothes in even dirtier bath water.

Sometimes I despair of that man.