I really love a good disaster film - so I’m making my own

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Disaster movies have been the subject of filmgoers’ fascination ever since the era of the silent epics.

Forget rom-coms. This girl likes nothing better than a rainy Sunday afternoon (and let’s face it there’ve been plenty of those lately) curled up on the sofa watching a good catastrophe movie.

Two of my all-time favourites are, surprisingly, both 1970s films.

The Towering Inferno has a star-studded cast, with the likes of Paul Newman and Steve McQueen.

I still have a little weep when Robert Wagner succumbs to a fiery demise in the midst of a passionate encounter with a married woman.

But it’s slightly puzzling why the great entertainer Fred Astaire chose to do this film – it seems wrong for him to be without his dance shoes and a top hat!

Another enjoyable movie is The Poseidon Adventure, featuring a luxury ocean liner hit by a huge wave. It capsizes and the survivers have to struggle to find a way out.

Hollywood just loves a disaster movie and no doubt Steven Spielberg already has a team of writers penning a story based on Britain’s horrendous floods.

Bruce Willis could be pencilled in to play the part of David Cameron, along with Alan Rickman as Environment Agency overlord Chris Smith.

When Hollywood wants somebody to play a baddie, why do they always seem to cast a Brit? But let’s face it, it’s a lot more fun getting those parts.

Anyhow, expect to see a three-hour blockbuster in a picture palace near you this summer, always assuming the cinemas have dried out by then.

If a Hollywood flood megaflick never materialises, I’m planning on putting together my own local version.

It will be just as thrilling and will feature city MP Mike Hancock bravely sailing down the stormy seafront road in a swan pedalo from Canoe Lake, rescuing people from being washed away by mountainous waves.

The climax of my film will see a handful of theatre luvvies stranded on top of The Kings, declining Mr Hancock’s ‘knight in shining armour’ attempts to save them and preferring to stay put.

Ah well, that’s showbiz.