I think that I’m much safer sticking with the polar bears

COMMENT: Sell alcohol to kids and you will face consequences

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On a more festive note, I’ve finally been converted to quite like Christmas jumpers – particularly those with designs that look as if the wearer is sporting some sort of festive costume.

Of course I’ve not actually invested in one of those myself (my Christmas jumper features polar bears) because of the stomach and, yes, I admit it, the startings of a beard.

If I put myself into Christmas garb I might look suspiciously like the fat, hirsute, greying man himself.

Can you imagine that, being manhandled by small children demanding toys?

In fact, it must be hard being Santa, what with all those children and having to dress in red.

No, I think that I’m much safer sticking with the polar bears.