I tried to work out who was and wasn’t in fancy dress

Steve's baby daughter made amazing progress this week, or so his wife thought

STEVE CANAVAN: It was a lot of rattle over just a little roll

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Aquestion for you. Is it worse to turn up at a party in fancy dress when no-one else is, or to turn up in plain clothes when everyone else is in full cheesy 1970s mode?

The latter happened to me last weekend when I got on my finery and then had to stand around wondering if other people would realise I was dressed normally. Meanwhile I tried to work out which of my friends were in eccentric mode and which were actually dressed deliberately cheesily.

I never want to insult anyone, so could only compliment those with wigs for their choice of fancy dress – safe in that knowledge at least.

I guess it was a lucky escape really as none of my original 1970s gear will fit around my bum these days.