I was trapped in password hell

Our dog acts like Victoria Beckham

LESLEY KEATING: Too posh for any old dog food — that’s our Milly!

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Ever been ‘phished’ folks? When I read the the word recently, I thought ‘blimey, I can hardly say it with my dentures love, let alone know what it means’.

It appears ‘ phishing’ means when criminals get your personal details/e-mail by fraudulent means, then try to trick you into revealing your bank details.

The article I was reading was about how the average Briton uses 10 passwords a day.

We are so paranoid about ‘phishing’ or getting our identity stolen that we try to come up with inventive and uncrackable passwords – and then forget them.

Tell me about it. Years ago I decided to use an old (now defunct) telephone number for a passsword. I thought I’d be a real smartypants and reverse the middle three numbers, put them first, and then the first three numbers after. I’d remember that.

Except, months later, with another dozen or so different extremely innovative and uncrackable codes in my head, I had to phone the company.

When the automated message got to the password, it didn’t ask for the whole password. Oh no that would be too easy.

It wanted the second digit, then the seventh digit, and by the time my aged little grey cells had worked that out, I was cut off. Aarrgghhh.

After three attempts, because by now I was flustered and I’d forgotten I’d reversed the middle three numbers, I had to phone to say I’d forgotten my password.

On another account, having forgotten my password yet again, I was instructed: ‘Please answer the security question.’

What ruddy question? Eventually I was given: ‘What was the name of your first pet?’

Hell’s bells! Did I put my childhood cat, or my parent’s cat? Or the cat I had when I first married? I didn’t know.

After three wrong answers, I had to come up with another innovative and uncrackable password. So if any criminal wants to ‘phish’ me, best of luck mate.

My bank account’s empty. And look at the picture above – do you really want to steal that identity?

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