I won’t be stripping or having a tattoo for my birthday

Clive Smith says he would not like to arm wrestle athlete Caster Semenya 		Picture: Martin Rickett/PA Wire

CLIVE SMITH: English pigs? Don’t bite the hand that feeds you

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There seems to be a recent trend amongst celebrities to do something different or unusual for their birthdays.

Kate Moss is 40 soon and she’s apparently stripping off for Playboy.

Meanwhile BBC presenter David Dimbleby has had a scorpion tattoo inked on his shoulder for his 75th.

My birthday is just around the corner, but unfortunately the nude shots I sent to Cosmopolitan asking to appear in the December issue were sternly rejected.

So what will I do to mark the occasion?

Well, I’ve got plans to take the day off work, have a lie-in, think about going to the gym and probably make a start on the Christmas mince pies.

Hmm, not exactly showbiz, is it?