Is it necessary to be so lavatorial?

Avenue Q

Avenue Q

Kim Kardashian

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Lavatorial descriptions seem to be all the rage with both theatre promoters and critics. Now I’m an Aged Goddess known to have a very colourful line in naughty but nice patter.

But even moi was taken aback recently by a TV advert and some show advertising on a theatre leaflet.

Avenue Q at Southampton’s Mayflower Theatre was being advertised on the gogglebox and written comments about the show appeared across the screen.

The last was from a national newspaper critic who said the show was ‘pant-wettingly funny.’

Then I received in the post a promoter’s leaflet from our own Kings Theatre in Southsea for the rather risque show Busting Out.

And there in the show’s marketing blurb were the words ‘and on occasion knicker-wetting humour’.

Folks, what’s with all these peeing-our-pants references to get theatre-goers to book?

Have we all got such weak bladdders that, during a funny show, we’re at risk of having an accident?

Eventually when we attend the theatre and have our seat tickets checked, will we also be isssued with incontinence pants just in case we can’t hold it in during the funny bits?

Or will ‘knicker wetters’ be sectioned off in a separate part of the theatre?

Of course I’m being ridiculous. But then so is promoting shows in this way.

We’re British. We understand words like hilarious and funny. We don’t need to be encouraged to wee ourselves, dear.

And finally. I hate TV adverts, but recently I’ve got hooked on the cute computer-generated animals selling products.

The cats with thumbs on their hind legs, threatening the man for his milk. And the freezer food polar bear,, who, when you open the fridge, hands you yourfood and speaks. I want him.

But I really don’t like those M&M sweets who, when told to ‘get in the bowl’, answer back in a New York drawl: ‘You gettin da bowl.’

Arrrgghh.

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