Is it wrong to dream about Robert giving me a bite?

Ian Brady

CLIVE SMITH: Who you are shouldn’t make any difference to sentence

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Is it wrong that I would quite like a man who isn’t my other half of almost 12 years to bite my neck?

Does that make me an awful person? Am I going to go to hell for admitting that? Ladies and gentlemen, please hear me out before you cast your disapproving eye over me.

The man from whom I’d like to get a bite is Twilight’s leading man, Robert Pattinson. It’s kind of his job – after all, he is a vampire, in Twilight anyway.

Everyone has their fantasies and this is mine, so don’t judge me. But I would quite like to be a bride at SOME point in my life and I realise this admission is not going to help my cause.

Robert and his leading lady, Kristen Stewart, plus fellow Twilight star Taylor Lautner, were in London this week promoting the penultimate film in the Twilight movie franchise – Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 1.

I’m so excited I can hardly contain my glee. Robert, who was returning to his roots by coming to the capital, looked every inch the superstar as he posed with his American counterparts.

I just love Robert. He has that whole Hugh Grant-style, stereotypical English accent that sounds delicious but makes the rest of us Brits say ‘we don’t sound like that!’

But hey, he’s doing his job for the Americans, who love the idea of quintessential England. So do we, but we know it rarely exists these days.

Anyway, I digress. For those of you Twi-hard fans out there, this movie looks to be every inch as promising as the last one and I can’t wait to find out what happens.

I’ve deliberately not read the last book because, unlike most film adaptations, I actually think these movies are as good, if not better, and I didn’t want to ruin my movie experience by reading the end.

But I do know (spoiler alert: avoid reading on if you don’t want to find out) that Bella falls pregnant on her honeymoon with a half-human, half-vampire baby!

They’ve gone and done a ‘Harry Potter’ on us though and we won’t know the end to this story until next November when they bring out Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2. Damn those film-makers.

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