This is something my mate did at a zoo the other day, and he had to get it off of his chest because he was feeling really guilty.
It was his daughter’s second birthday, so with his partner they decided to go to a small zoo near where they live.
People who only have cacti probably shouldn’t be allowed to have pets or kids
When they got to the zoo their daughter, having opened her presents and cards in the morning, was proudly wearing a badge saying ‘I am 2!’ and carrying a balloon with her age written on it.
So, my mate goes to pay the admission fee which is at a stall inside the gift shop.
He asks how much it is for kids and the woman at the counter says: ‘It’s free if they’re less than two years old.’
Now my mate is so tight that he decided to usher his daughter out of the gift shop and away from the cashier’s line of vision, before removing her badge and deliberately bursting her balloon, claiming that it burst by accident, leading to tears and recriminations.
Basically, he did all of this so he could claim his daughter was under the age of two and get her in for free, the tightwad.
n If the only plants in your house are cacti, is that an admission that you’re incapable of looking after any living thing unless it only requires a few drops of water once a fortnight?
People who only have cacti probably shouldn’t be allowed to have pets or kids.
n A new study is claiming that people are happier in their mid-40s than they are at the age of 18.
Have you ever heard of anything so ridiculous?
If you really want to depress a 40 year-old, just put them in a nightclub queue with some 18 year-olds.
They’ll be close to tears when the bouncer refuses them entry and calls them grandad.