It’s time we had a new name to describe parents of a partner

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Do you think certain people only get married because they get fed up of trying to think of a name to describe the parents of their partner?

You can’t call them ‘mother or father-in-law’ because you’re not married, so you have to refer to them as ‘my partner’s mother and father’, which is really unwieldy.

Also, you can’t just call them by their names, because people might not know who you’re talking about.

Can’t we come up with some other generic term for a partner’s parents if you’re not married, please?

n If you own a spork, one of those crosses between a spoon and a fork, I have a question for you. In which bit of the cutlery drawer do you put it? Does it go in with the forks because it has prongs?

Or should it go in with the spoons because it has a rounded bottom? Or should it have its own dedicated section of the drawer because it’s so unusual?

I worry about this. I don’t want my sporks feeling like they don’t belong!

n The Krispy Kreme food chain has unveiled a sugar-laden milkshake with as many calories as a typical Sunday roast and some nutritionists have been up in arms about it. But I don’t know why.

If you think about it, a shake like that can be really healthy.

If it’s thick enough, you’ll expend hundreds of calories trying to suck it up through the straw and because it’s so thick you won’t actually manage to consume much of it. So calorie-wise you’ll have used up more than you took in. All of which technically means this milkshake is a diet drink!

n Finally this week, one in two pet owners say they regularly lose up to 90 minutes’ sleep because of their pets meowing, barking, scratching or nuzzling them awake.

Easy way to avoid this – either buy a goldfish or a pet that hibernates!

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