It should make you feel much more Christmassy, but doesn’t

Vanessa Feltz

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It’s that time of year when people have to start thinking about one of the worst tasks that needs to be done at Christmas.

I’m talking about the annual ‘retrieving the Christmas tree and decorations from the loft.’

It should make you feel a lot more Christmassy, but it doesn’t.

Instead you get the three ‘Christmas decorations in the loft” fears:

1. Will the loft be able to hold my weight, as I’ve put on a few pounds since last Christmas?

2. Will they still be in the same place I thought I put them, or will I have to scrabble around on my hands and knees in the loft getting filthy dirty trying to find them?

3. Will all of the Christmas tree baubles fall out of the flimsy box they’re kept in while I’m trying to bring them down from the loft?!

Christmas tree baubles are always kept in a flimsy box. I don’t know why, but I think it’s the law.

It’s a little-known fact that 57 per cent of the new Christmas trees and decorations sold this year are being bought by people who can’t face going up into the loft to get the old ones.

Actually, I made that figure up, but I reckon it could be right.

Is anyone else getting fed up with the amount of vouchers the cashiers have started giving you at the supermarket checkout?

It’s bad enough when you’re stuck behind another customer that’s handing in loads of money-off vouchers to get a reduction on their total bill.

But now you have to wait for what seems like ages for the till to print out loads of money-off vouchers, bonus loyalty card point slips, vouchers telling you how much you’ve saved by shopping there today, vouchers giving you cheap petrol, and vouchers entitling you to freebies if you shop there again.

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