It turns out the scriptwriters tell some massive whoppers

The Rev Canon Bob White with representatives of the groups involved in our Christmas campaignh run with churches in Portsmouth - Comfort and Joy

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Having watched plenty of soap operas in my time, I thought I had an idea of what childbirth looks like.

But I’ve been doing some research recently and it turns out the scriptwriters have been telling heinous lies.

A recent episode of Corrie, for example, showed one character experience her waters breaking in a gush and an ad break, some panting and an extended episode later, out popped out a baby.

No need to worry about delivering the placenta (you mean squeezing out a human being isn’t enough, there’s... more?) The new mum simply reclined Cleopatra-like on a chaise longue, made some animalistic noises and had her brow patted.

I’ll have to wait to decide what’s worse – the sanitised soap version or the One Born Every Minute reality.