Jez: Hola amigos, did you know I’m fluent in Spanish?

The Richmond Arms
, West Ashling

THE DISH DETECTIVE: The Richmond Arms, West Ashling, near Chichester

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I was amused by a report that showed almost a quarter of us in the UK are guilty of lying to appear more intelligent. Apparently, pretending to speak a foreign language comes high on the list and I am certainly guilty of doing this.

I’ve been known to say the occasional ‘hola’ and ‘adios amigos’ when in the company of Spaniards.

Another common thing people do to appear brainier is listen to classical music, and I’ve also been caught doing this. Sometimes I play Vivaldi’s Four Seasons loudly in the car, making sure the sunroof and windows are open.

When I commuted to work by train I used to purchase a copy of the Daily Telegraph broadsheet newspaper, then actually read The Sun which I had hidden inside.