Kids disappointed that he wasn’t a she and called Ellie

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So the royal baby has finally arrived and it was a big occasion in the Smith household.

The missus, being a great royalist, was glued to Sky News for two whole days.

Meanwhile I busied myself in the garden building a slide and cursing ants’ nests.

The kids were caught up in the royal frenzy that the missus had created.

Cartoons took a backseat and even the previously relentless cartwheels around the lounge stopped.

They were all transfixed, itching to find out the baby’s name.

You see, we’d organised a family sweepstake when Kate’s pregnancy was first announced.

But they were sorely disappointed when, firstly, it was a boy and, secondly, the baby wasn’t called Ellie.