Let living standards fall and you’ll win Labour votes, Ed

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Apparently Labour leader Ed Miliband has said that middle class families are facing a ‘crisis of confidence’ because of falling living standards and it’s something he wants to address.

But I don’t understand why he wants to address it.

Surely if they can’t afford to be middle class any more they’ll end up as working class and more people who are working class vote Labour, don’t they?

Figures show that childcare costs rose by an average of 19 per cent in Britain last year. But there’s something I don’t quite understand about this.

Everyone goes on about us having a ‘nanny state’. So, if they’re right and we do have a ‘nanny state’, could the state please come round and actually do some nannying for us? It might save us a bit of cash!

I hear comedian Tim Minchin is working on a musical adaptation of the film Groundhog Day. I have one question about this. If it’s a hit and some really devoted fans go to see it 50 times, will it be because they like it or will it be because they like being ironic?

Have you ever had a tall glass of coffee in a Costa Coffee shop? There’s one particularly annoying thing about being given one of these.

All the saucers that you put your glass on don’t have the little hole for them in the middle.

They have it slightly off to one side, so the saucer has room for any biscuits you might buy. But this presents a problem.

It’s hard to balance a tall glass of coffee on a small saucer if it’s not in the middle.

It makes the whole ‘carrying the coffee back to your seat’ experience fraught with tension and danger.

It’s almost as if they’re hoping you spill your coffee so you have to buy another one. Oh, hang on…they probably are, aren’t they?